Month: June 2013

The Immigration Fiasco

To my fellow countrymen, do not be fooled. What could be a really simple deal to actually deal with an illegal immigration problem in this country could be summed up in about 20 pages or less. Some of us call it metrics but to the politicians plying their trade in DC, its called pork payoffs. An Immigration Bill that needs over 1,200 pages to get its point across is a game of futility with the US Citizens and yes, illegal immigrants as the biggest losers in this game. Don’t look at the little man behind the curtain, just look at the shiny bauble in front of you.

English: Container used for illegal immigratio...

English: Container used for illegal immigration to the U.S., 22 Chinese were arrested at the Seattle seaport. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Make no mistake, the only losers in this deal are the illegal immigrants themselves. I’m not PC so I’m not going to call this group of folks anything else but what they are; ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS.period. I have nothing against those that came here and want to go through the legal process of wanting to become a productive citizen in this country

but I don’t have sympathy for those that came here illegally and want the free payoff that the game players in DC want to hand you. For whatever reason they decided to come here, if you didn’t get a VISA and come through normal channels, realistically, they are an illegal invader. This is the only country I know that treats this group of folks nicer than some of its own citizens. I’ve traveled to foreign countries and they monitor your travels with a fine tooth comb. Once your time is up, out you go.

Here’s what you are. You are pawns. The only thing you become are 12 million (or more) new taxpayers to fund the most selfish generation of our history, the babyboomers. They couldn’t cut it in the 80’s with the dot.com crash, junk bonds, and the “Wall Street” era so lets figure out a way to fleece the US in another way. This is where you, the illegal immigrant, come in to do your part.

You get wow’ed and oogled over as the latest fad in order to make this generation feel validated and empowered. I feel sad for you because you actually buy this load of crap being hoisted on you. Make no mistake, your position in life in this country will be no better when this crappy bill passes Congress.

As this boomer generation continues their long march into retirement, you, the illegal immigrant should smile big and proud because YOU will be left holding the bag while they play their rounds of golf or whatever they want to do all safe and snug in the warmth that you will provide. Oh and when it’s your turn to live the American Dream, well…

Father’s Day… or is it?

There was a time that I really enjoyed celebrating Father’s Day. For those that know me I’m not into celebrating all things Hallmark but this was one day that I kinda looked forward to more as a chance to reflect on where I’ve been as a Dad and where I was headed. It was a day for me to be a little introspective on how I wanted to continue to raise my son into being a man.

I noticed last fathers dayyear (who knows, this has probably been going on for years) more and more messaging wishing everyone a Happy Father’s Day, including those women who happen to be single without the baby daddy in the picture. As each year progresses, this particular aspect irks me more and more each year. Watching this phenomenon unfold on Facebook is especially irritating as everyone, including beta-ized men, knock themselves out to post something even more aggrandizing to the females out there who don’t have a male in the Father role with their kids. Can you even imagine if a man were to do this in reverse on Mother’s Day? The feminist crap storm that would ensue?

Father’s Day is for Men. Period. If you’re a single Mom, that’s what you are, a Mom. I don’t care what the circumstances are that puts you in that position, nor do I judge. Father’s Day is my day. It’s because I’m a man, fathered a child, and I’m present in his life. I may not be perfect and often make mistakes, but I’m present and I provide.

Honestly, it’s this kind of drivel that continues to force men into being womenized and emasculated. Father’s Day is a day to celebrate the male. If for no other reason than to finally get that new tie for work, a wrench to work on something manly, this should be his day, and his alone. Men already share the other 364 days of the year with a woman or women, so is it really so much to ask for this one little thing?

20 things a dad should tell his son

I’ve seen many articles about what a Mom should tell her son, but I rarely see where a Dad actually takes the time to help this process, so I took some time to think about it.

Eventually my list will much longer than twenty items but here are the first of what will be many revisions going forward.

20 Things a Dad should tell his son

1. Play a sport. Stay in shape
2. There’s no rush to get married. Take your time and find the right woman; not “the one”. There is only “the one” at that particular time. Next them if they don’t meet your standards
3. Aim wisely when you pee. You are lucky that you get to stand up and pee, enjoy and embrace it. No one else likes a pissed-on seat
4. Save and spend your money wisely. Your time as an adult is going to be worse than my time. You will need your money long into the future. You earned it, you alone get to decide how it’s spent
5. Clean up after yourselves. No one likes a slob so stop practicing to be one. Take pride in your appearance.
6. Be spiritual. Take the time for personal reflection and introspection
7. Don’t start a fight but by God, if someone throws you a punch, you end it. As your father I’ll defend you to the end of my life
8. Learning doesn’t stop with High School graduation. Take the time to learn something new every day
9. Treat women with the right amount of alpha strength and beta comfort. Make sure the beta comfort is with an Alpha frame. Trust me, they’ll love you for it
10. Understand there is a real difference between genders outside of the workplace. Embrace those differences.Understand the difference between legal equality and equalism
11. Respect your elders and counterparts
12. Live up to your potential
13. Be kind and help others when you can
14. Your house, your rules.
15. You alone are the Captain of your ship. There is no such thing as a co-Captain.
16. Use honey and be polite with a strong frame
17. Don’t stand for bullying. See it, end it.
18. Read, read, read. Even if you don’t like it, read. When you need a break from reading, travel. The world is an amazing place.
19. Your decisions will decide who you are. You will be held accountable, so be accountable.
20. Remember your mother. She brought you into this world.

Raising boys in a culture of rape

Before becoming a father I used to be terrified for my unborn sons.

As a father, I guess we’re all scared of something when it comes to our kids. There are real issues to be scared of. GMO’s, all the other crap injected into a food supply that robs us of our true potential, playing in the water, etc…

There are other things though, things that exist outside of our happy little home. Things that even in my career field, I know I can’t stop.

I watched the results of the Steubenville rape case after it became a national story only because it struck a nerve. I usually don’t watch most of the over hyped media portrayed today. I boysdid however watch this coverage, trying to understand what would bring these two men to this illogical conclusion. Especially when the trial, which ultimately concluded with two guilty verdicts against two teenage football players who raped a girl who was so drunk she couldn’t even move from the floor.

As a father, I had to process this and come up with a way teach my boys about this.

A weak man might ask the following questions:

This is the world I’ve got to prepare my son for?
This is what our young men are turning into?
Is that it  so hard to teach your child right from wrong these days?

Listen, real men know rape is wrong. We know that it’s a type of assault, one of the worst kinds done to both men and women. Let’s not sugarcoat it. Regardless its still against the rules our society has in place. In the Steubenville case, it happened because those boys’ parents failed to teach them and hold them accountable. Their little society didn’t hold them accountable because they were treated like heroes and stars, or even worse, like celebrities. At their age, they were “entitled”.

Boys (and girls), rape is wrong. Don’t do it. Ever. Not under any circumstances. The arguments that she had it coming, there was consent, she was drunk, etc doesn’t matter. It’s wrong from a moral and ethical standpoint.  But wait, it’s happening all over the country right? Lest we succumb to the hyper focus from modern media, remember, rape as an act has been occurring since time immemorial. Is that an excuse? Certainly not, and that’s why our society has passed laws against it. Do I, as a citizen of this country, a parent, a father condone this act? Hell no.

The difficulty fathers have now is finding a way to provide a way for our boys to turn into productive men in a society so steeped in rape culture.

It’s very difficult to teach our young men that rape is wrong when other girls will line up to blame, and even shame the victim? How do we teach our sons about respecting society’s rules when our own elected officials refuse to show that respect by exhibiting total ignorance? For me, its pretty simple. I am teaching my boys that they are accountable for their actions. Their decisions will determine their life. I will not be a helicopter parent, so they are already beginning to learn that what they do and say have consequences.

America, we don’t have a rape culture. Far from it. We’ve been taught for many years that rape is an assault to force or maintain control. If you want to see a rape culture, I would ask you to study central Africa where rape is a tactic of war.

Original caption states,

Original caption states, “Dem. Rep. Congo: Meeting for Rape Victims Rape victims who have been successfully reintegrated into their communities assemble in a “peace hut” near Walungu, South Kivu in DRC. USAID-supported health programs have assisted rape victims with counseling, training, employment, and safe living environments.” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Rape is used to subjugate, dominate, and control another person in the most vile way.

While young men can observe their mothers,  they learn from their fathers. They learn how to be strong, caring, respectful men by observing strong, caring, respectful men.

Real men will talk to their sons even about topics that are painful, embarrassing, and yes, even about what rape is.

Rape culture? No, we have a No Accountability culture. Our biggest issue is that we refuse to hold each other accountable for our actions, decisions, etc. Start doing that and showing what a true example of what right looks like, then, and perhaps only then, can we start to make a real change in culture. Given current events in politics, sports, etc, it’s pretty evident that no one is held liable for what they do but rather what/who they can blame it on.

I’m no longer scared for my sons and the world they’ll inherit one day. Because I’m doing my job as a father and a man to educate them on the rigors of life and providing them with the tools to survive. Because that’s what parents do, or should do. I’m not scared because I refuse to teach my boys that women are victims first. I will teach them that they are just as capable as they are at doing things. My boys will be taught to step in when life, limb, or eyesight is in danger.

My friends and family know that in the line of work I’m in I’ve tried to make our world a little bit better of a place for them when it’s their time to take it on.

While the world might struggle to change for the better, my boys will be ready for the challenge.