Why can’t men just be… well, Men?

A friend posted an article on her Facebook page to yet another article bemoaning the fact that men just aren’t men anymore,

Funny article but the feminist movement is to blame! The decline of strong family values, no fault divorce, the over abundance of men who are unwilling to raise the children they fathered, and the feminization of men to be more sensitive and to treat women like equals which has created masses of full grown “horny toddlers”… All courtesy of some short sighted bra burning,”

He said; “Did I miss the paragraph in this article that suggested feminist bashing is somehow what real men ought to be doing?”

She wrote. How did men behaving badly become women’s fault? The feminist movement accomplished one thing: it allowed women to become equal participants in the workforce so that we can be self supporting and self reliant. We were/are no longer forced to be dependent on a man for long term financial support, and became free to leave if our partner didn’t treat us well – an option that didn’t exist financially or culturally until very recently. The feminist movement didn’t create bad men, it just gave women the freedom not to be bound to them or dependent on them. There are plenty of good ones out there. But now we can take our time to find them and be with them because they are good partners and because we want to be, not because we need someone to take care of us
Pansy guy replied: Family values were not unraveled by the feminist movement; they are reinforced. Strong women do not make weak men. That is a fallacy that is perpetrated by the anti-feminists of the world. To suggest men somehow fail at the hands of women’s increased rights, safety, or health, is to blame the victim in the most basic philosophical terms.

Pansy guy totally drank the cool aid

Ask him how exactly they were reinforced

Men aren’t failing, they aren’t allowed into the game

Feminism crushed all ways that allowed men to teach boys how to be real men. Men’s clubs, golf courses/country clubs, cigar shops, even the military were all “schools” for training men.

Who said men are behaving badly? They are simply doing what they have been taught and what is being perpetuated as socially acceptable. It’s simple. The article is ridiculous to insinuate that the Internet and technology have somehow limp-dicked men and made them pansies. It’s actually really insulting to most upstanding men. Men have become pansies because they have been devalued in relationships, the home, and society in general.

Think of it this way… Women, do you appreciate it when a man opens a door for you? I’m guessing you do, I know many do. But not all men were taught that is a courtesy that they could render to women. Instead they have been taught that she can do it herself. And damn right she can. But it’s these small things that have eroded the provider/protector nature of men and shamed men from being men and be masculine in general. Men can not do things for women without them getting butt hurt about a man being dominate and the Captain of his ship.

She wrote: I agree wholeheartedly that the feminist movement did reap some amazing benefits. Trust me, as an Active Duty Army Officer; I understand the benefits of the feminist movement. Everyday I am reminded that I comprise of less than 10% of my peers, and I receive commensurate treatment and pay as my male counterparts. I am a case in point of the successes of the feminist movement. Gender equality has been liberating for both men and women. But the consequent devaluation of men and demonizing of masculinity that has evolved with the feminist movement and mutated feminist rhetoric is problematic.

If a man has had strong male role models and wasn’t shamed or scolded for his masculinity, that man is more likely to be the strong Alpha male who can handle a strong independent woman. He is not threatened by her strengths and independence. He values them. BUT it takes a stronger woman to value a strong Alpha male who is not going to be a wallflower in the home nor is he going to be treated like a lapdog. The feminist movement didn’t teach us that. Instead it taught us we need to be treated equal and that men need to be more sensitive to women’s needs. Which is crock of shit if a woman is really as strong and independent as she thinks she is. Sure we want a man who is respectful and appreciative, but do you honestly want a man that you can boss around and wears the skirt in the relationship. No, you want someone who compliments your strengths and weaknesses but is able of being that provider and protector. Unfortunately that is not what all men are taught—remember, women, can do it ourselves!

And as far as family values being reinforced by the feminist movement, I’d like to hear more about that. With increased (and quite alarming) divorce rates and single parent households (oh yeah, I’m one of those too), it’s hard to see how family values have been reinforced. Instead, I think it’s just become easier to quit when times get rough… I mean hell guys, “she can do it on her own” or ladies “you can just screw him over” with the courts…. yep, reinforced family values alright.

Men have not failed at the hands of women’s increased rights, safety or health…. men have been failed…by the feminist movement and feminism—-which is more than the political movement that keeps getting referenced…it’s the philosophical norm of feminism that has evolved from empowerment of women and mutated into the demonization of men. Guarantee you can’t walk into a single university across this country and take a women’s studies course that doesn’t somehow tie into how men have oppressed women, and that we (women) are victims that have been/or need to be freed of the chains of the evil man. Lofty logic if you ask me. And to insinuate that women are the victims… well hell, if they want to be they are… I’m not nor do I feel the need to play a victimization card for the chromosomes I was dealt.

This woman, my friend, just gets it. She works on being feminine, dresses nicely, grows her hair out long, makeup (when not in uniform), stays in shape and works her girl game. My friend has four combat tours to Iraq and Afghanistan under her belt.

So to all the men out there, it’s time to step up and be, well, men. Despite all the fluff a man gets served about being gooey, it just doesn’t work so stop.

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