women

Why The Best Girls Always End Up With The Biggest Assholes She said… (He said)

It’s always fun to come across gems like this. Most of these lists are always about trying to deal with that little hamster that likes to spin the wheel hoping to rationalize away all their hindbrain evolutionary wiring. Simply put, all women fall for assholes because from an evolutionary standpoint, assholes in today’s society have the best genes for her potential offspring… Oh yeah, and the dopamine rush they constantly bring.

So without further ado, lets go through the numbersMy thoughts in bold

Why The Best Girls Always End Up With The Biggest Assholes – by Holly Riordan

Sure, by now we should know better than to keep falling for the same types of guys who will leave us heartbroken and totally jaded. But it’s a difficult cycle to break because:

  1. WE DON’T REALIZE HOW MUCH WE DESERVE.

She said: Because we’re not in touch with how amazing we are, we let our standards fall.

He said: Because you all are unique snowflakes and ALL different from her… uh huh, yup.. When assholes give you the tingles, that next sound is your reason going out the window.

  1. WE ASSUME THEY’RE BEING HONEST WITH US.

She said: We tell them the truth so we assume they’re giving us the same treatment. We never see the cheaters coming — because we’re decent, we think the guy we’re dating is decent.

He said: Said the hamster once again… Assholes see right through this BS, Nice Guys actually believe you. That’s why the Betas are all pissed at the Assholes, LOL Their armor isn’t shiny enough to overcome an asshole’s devilry.

  1. WE’RE TOO NICE.

She said: We don’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings. If a man asks us out, we’ll give him a chance, and if he asks for a second chance, we’ll give him that, too. Assholes are the pushiest people around, which is why they’re the hardest to say “no” to.

He said: She won’t hurt anyone’s feelings if she thinks she can win at something like one-upmanship on another female. Assholes know the rules to the game and outplay her… With the tingles he produces, she.just.CAN’T.say.no

  1. WE BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE CAN CHANGE.

She said: After you screw up, we’ll give you the opportunity to make things right, even if you don’t deserve it. We genuinely believe that people can change, which is why we waste way so much time in a relationship that’s going nowhere.

He said: Assholes don’t care.

  1. ASSHOLES INITIALLY LOOK THE MOST APPEALING.

She said: We’re super sweet and fun to be around, which is why we have plenty of options. Of course, assholes are confident and flirty, which is why they’re the ones we gravitate towards. It’s not until later that we find out how sketchy they really are.

He said: You’re right, they are for a reason. But seriously, you did see it coming even during the dopamine rush. Solipsism is the rose-colored glasses honey.

  1. WE SEE THE BEST IN OTHERS.

She said: Even if a guy has a million undesirable traits, we’ll focus on the one good thing about him. It’s why we get along with everyone we meet, but it’s also why we get screwed over.

He said: Said by a snowflake trying to deny riding the party carousel.

  1. THEY THINK THEY CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF US.

She said: Assholes love to go after nice girls like us because they think that we’ll let them walk all over us. They want to do whatever they want without getting punished for it, which is why we’re the perfect targets.

He said: Assholes don’t care… rinse and repeat.

  1. WE OVERESTIMATE HOW MUCH WE CAN HANDLE.

She said: We know how tough we are, so we assume we can handle a rough relationship. Of course, even the strongest women can be torn apart by a guy.

He said: You go grrrl. Don’t worry, you’ll have your orbiters you’ll turn to and make you feel better about your decisions.

  1. WE LIKE THE EXCITEMENT.

She said: Truth be told, our lives are pretty boring. That’s why some of us secretly like the drama that comes with dating an asshole. It gives us something to complain about.

He said: Right on target Captain! Wimmins hate being bored and love the emotional rollercoaster.

  1. WE DON’T REALIZE HOW GOOD MEN CAN BE.

She said: We’ve dealt with so many assholes throughout our lives that we think they’re all that’s out there. We don’t realize that there are genuinely good guys in the world that would treat us the way we deserve. That’s why the cycle continues and we date asshole after asshole.

He said: Said like every snowflake that is high mileage after the party years, now an Alpha Widow, and and wants a good beta to settle down and provide for her. Of course, within a period of time of no tingles from the beta, she’s about to go Eat, Pray, Love on the poor sap. She’s still pining over the asshole.

  1. WE HATE TO SAY GOODBYE.

She said: Most men aren’t assholes at first, and by the time their true colors start coming out, we’re already attached. It’s hard to break up with them when we’ve already pictured a future together. That’s how they trap us.

He said: It’s all HIS FAULT!!!

To all you men out there, Man Up by getting in touch with your inner asshole, seriously, she’ll appreciate it.

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12 Truths About Men

  1. If another woman walks by, a man will look. Doesn’t matter whom he’s with at the time. If he’s with you, make sure you’re the reason he stays with you.
  2. It is the thrill of the chase. A man can never tire of it, for if he does, woman loses attraction. For a man there is no sanctuary.
  3. Men don’t need to read a woman’s mind, for it matters not to him. A man has a life to lead, she’s invited but she doesn’t need to attend.
  4. A man has many reasons to marry, but in today’s society, he has more reasons not to get married. Either way, the government will make him pay so men must choose wisely
  5. Men think logically and rationally. If he gets overly emotional, he becomes weak
  6. A man wants a woman who knows how to be feminine, warm, and inviting around her man, no matter what she does outside the home
  7. If you’re a loud-mouthed ratchet it’s because you’ve beaten the man out of him and turned him into your ATM. Congratulations, you’ve won the lottery. Enjoy your spoils because it may not last very long.
  8. If a man loves you, great, don’t spoil it by asking him to hold your purse as that makes him look like a cuckold. There are hooks on every bathroom stall door and changing room to hang your purse. It’s your fashion accessory, not his.
  9. Men do know the value of a good woman. If he doesn’t value you, it’s not because he isn’t mature, it’s because your values don’t mesh with his. Men don’t circle around for another pass, there’s a reason why you’re an ex or passed over.
  10. Men do want a woman he can trust. He doesn’t need to her to uplift him, he does that on his own, because doing so shows her he is strong enough to protect her and she realizes what she has.
  11. Men lie, women lie. It’s human nature. But men are logical, rational beings; if you don’t want the harsh truth, deal with the lie. If the dress makes you look fat, don’t wear it. If the jeans make your butt look big, don’t wear them.
  12. In this day and age, they know a virgin is a unicorn but they prefer women with low mileage. High mileage cars don’t last   long.

Why can’t men just be… well, Men?

A friend posted an article on her Facebook page to yet another article bemoaning the fact that men just aren’t men anymore,

Funny article but the feminist movement is to blame! The decline of strong family values, no fault divorce, the over abundance of men who are unwilling to raise the children they fathered, and the feminization of men to be more sensitive and to treat women like equals which has created masses of full grown “horny toddlers”… All courtesy of some short sighted bra burning,”

He said; “Did I miss the paragraph in this article that suggested feminist bashing is somehow what real men ought to be doing?”

She wrote. How did men behaving badly become women’s fault? The feminist movement accomplished one thing: it allowed women to become equal participants in the workforce so that we can be self supporting and self reliant. We were/are no longer forced to be dependent on a man for long term financial support, and became free to leave if our partner didn’t treat us well – an option that didn’t exist financially or culturally until very recently. The feminist movement didn’t create bad men, it just gave women the freedom not to be bound to them or dependent on them. There are plenty of good ones out there. But now we can take our time to find them and be with them because they are good partners and because we want to be, not because we need someone to take care of us
Pansy guy replied: Family values were not unraveled by the feminist movement; they are reinforced. Strong women do not make weak men. That is a fallacy that is perpetrated by the anti-feminists of the world. To suggest men somehow fail at the hands of women’s increased rights, safety, or health, is to blame the victim in the most basic philosophical terms.

Pansy guy totally drank the cool aid

Ask him how exactly they were reinforced

Men aren’t failing, they aren’t allowed into the game

Feminism crushed all ways that allowed men to teach boys how to be real men. Men’s clubs, golf courses/country clubs, cigar shops, even the military were all “schools” for training men.

Who said men are behaving badly? They are simply doing what they have been taught and what is being perpetuated as socially acceptable. It’s simple. The article is ridiculous to insinuate that the Internet and technology have somehow limp-dicked men and made them pansies. It’s actually really insulting to most upstanding men. Men have become pansies because they have been devalued in relationships, the home, and society in general.

Think of it this way… Women, do you appreciate it when a man opens a door for you? I’m guessing you do, I know many do. But not all men were taught that is a courtesy that they could render to women. Instead they have been taught that she can do it herself. And damn right she can. But it’s these small things that have eroded the provider/protector nature of men and shamed men from being men and be masculine in general. Men can not do things for women without them getting butt hurt about a man being dominate and the Captain of his ship.

She wrote: I agree wholeheartedly that the feminist movement did reap some amazing benefits. Trust me, as an Active Duty Army Officer; I understand the benefits of the feminist movement. Everyday I am reminded that I comprise of less than 10% of my peers, and I receive commensurate treatment and pay as my male counterparts. I am a case in point of the successes of the feminist movement. Gender equality has been liberating for both men and women. But the consequent devaluation of men and demonizing of masculinity that has evolved with the feminist movement and mutated feminist rhetoric is problematic.

If a man has had strong male role models and wasn’t shamed or scolded for his masculinity, that man is more likely to be the strong Alpha male who can handle a strong independent woman. He is not threatened by her strengths and independence. He values them. BUT it takes a stronger woman to value a strong Alpha male who is not going to be a wallflower in the home nor is he going to be treated like a lapdog. The feminist movement didn’t teach us that. Instead it taught us we need to be treated equal and that men need to be more sensitive to women’s needs. Which is crock of shit if a woman is really as strong and independent as she thinks she is. Sure we want a man who is respectful and appreciative, but do you honestly want a man that you can boss around and wears the skirt in the relationship. No, you want someone who compliments your strengths and weaknesses but is able of being that provider and protector. Unfortunately that is not what all men are taught—remember, women, can do it ourselves!

And as far as family values being reinforced by the feminist movement, I’d like to hear more about that. With increased (and quite alarming) divorce rates and single parent households (oh yeah, I’m one of those too), it’s hard to see how family values have been reinforced. Instead, I think it’s just become easier to quit when times get rough… I mean hell guys, “she can do it on her own” or ladies “you can just screw him over” with the courts…. yep, reinforced family values alright.

Men have not failed at the hands of women’s increased rights, safety or health…. men have been failed…by the feminist movement and feminism—-which is more than the political movement that keeps getting referenced…it’s the philosophical norm of feminism that has evolved from empowerment of women and mutated into the demonization of men. Guarantee you can’t walk into a single university across this country and take a women’s studies course that doesn’t somehow tie into how men have oppressed women, and that we (women) are victims that have been/or need to be freed of the chains of the evil man. Lofty logic if you ask me. And to insinuate that women are the victims… well hell, if they want to be they are… I’m not nor do I feel the need to play a victimization card for the chromosomes I was dealt.

This woman, my friend, just gets it. She works on being feminine, dresses nicely, grows her hair out long, makeup (when not in uniform), stays in shape and works her girl game. My friend has four combat tours to Iraq and Afghanistan under her belt.

So to all the men out there, it’s time to step up and be, well, men. Despite all the fluff a man gets served about being gooey, it just doesn’t work so stop.

The Sex Camel

camel3The Sex Camel- the cumulative effect of a woman (rarely a man) who goes for an extended time without sex.

I first heard of this when I was talking with some friends of mine who were discussing this “syndrome”. I asked if it hurts. I was told no that you just get used to it to the point where they (the ones suffering this malady) no longer really think about sex at all. They can take it or just leave it.

How does this syndrome occur? Well, in the case of my friends it mainly comes from extended, prolonged exposure to long duration deployments of their spouses to combat zones. It may also occur in non-military households/relationships where attraction between partners is greatly diminished

I for one, can not think this can be healthy for any woman. I’m not a doctor by training but I know what I’m like and how I feel when I go more than two days without sex!

I will do what I can to maintain attraction between myself and my significant other so this type of camel can’t make it to the oasis…

Father’s Day… or is it?

There was a time that I really enjoyed celebrating Father’s Day. For those that know me I’m not into celebrating all things Hallmark but this was one day that I kinda looked forward to more as a chance to reflect on where I’ve been as a Dad and where I was headed. It was a day for me to be a little introspective on how I wanted to continue to raise my son into being a man.

I noticed last fathers dayyear (who knows, this has probably been going on for years) more and more messaging wishing everyone a Happy Father’s Day, including those women who happen to be single without the baby daddy in the picture. As each year progresses, this particular aspect irks me more and more each year. Watching this phenomenon unfold on Facebook is especially irritating as everyone, including beta-ized men, knock themselves out to post something even more aggrandizing to the females out there who don’t have a male in the Father role with their kids. Can you even imagine if a man were to do this in reverse on Mother’s Day? The feminist crap storm that would ensue?

Father’s Day is for Men. Period. If you’re a single Mom, that’s what you are, a Mom. I don’t care what the circumstances are that puts you in that position, nor do I judge. Father’s Day is my day. It’s because I’m a man, fathered a child, and I’m present in his life. I may not be perfect and often make mistakes, but I’m present and I provide.

Honestly, it’s this kind of drivel that continues to force men into being womenized and emasculated. Father’s Day is a day to celebrate the male. If for no other reason than to finally get that new tie for work, a wrench to work on something manly, this should be his day, and his alone. Men already share the other 364 days of the year with a woman or women, so is it really so much to ask for this one little thing?

20 things a dad should tell his son

I’ve seen many articles about what a Mom should tell her son, but I rarely see where a Dad actually takes the time to help this process, so I took some time to think about it.

Eventually my list will much longer than twenty items but here are the first of what will be many revisions going forward.

20 Things a Dad should tell his son

1. Play a sport. Stay in shape
2. There’s no rush to get married. Take your time and find the right woman; not “the one”. There is only “the one” at that particular time. Next them if they don’t meet your standards
3. Aim wisely when you pee. You are lucky that you get to stand up and pee, enjoy and embrace it. No one else likes a pissed-on seat
4. Save and spend your money wisely. Your time as an adult is going to be worse than my time. You will need your money long into the future. You earned it, you alone get to decide how it’s spent
5. Clean up after yourselves. No one likes a slob so stop practicing to be one. Take pride in your appearance.
6. Be spiritual. Take the time for personal reflection and introspection
7. Don’t start a fight but by God, if someone throws you a punch, you end it. As your father I’ll defend you to the end of my life
8. Learning doesn’t stop with High School graduation. Take the time to learn something new every day
9. Treat women with the right amount of alpha strength and beta comfort. Make sure the beta comfort is with an Alpha frame. Trust me, they’ll love you for it
10. Understand there is a real difference between genders outside of the workplace. Embrace those differences.Understand the difference between legal equality and equalism
11. Respect your elders and counterparts
12. Live up to your potential
13. Be kind and help others when you can
14. Your house, your rules.
15. You alone are the Captain of your ship. There is no such thing as a co-Captain.
16. Use honey and be polite with a strong frame
17. Don’t stand for bullying. See it, end it.
18. Read, read, read. Even if you don’t like it, read. When you need a break from reading, travel. The world is an amazing place.
19. Your decisions will decide who you are. You will be held accountable, so be accountable.
20. Remember your mother. She brought you into this world.

Raising boys in a culture of rape

Before becoming a father I used to be terrified for my unborn sons.

As a father, I guess we’re all scared of something when it comes to our kids. There are real issues to be scared of. GMO’s, all the other crap injected into a food supply that robs us of our true potential, playing in the water, etc…

There are other things though, things that exist outside of our happy little home. Things that even in my career field, I know I can’t stop.

I watched the results of the Steubenville rape case after it became a national story only because it struck a nerve. I usually don’t watch most of the over hyped media portrayed today. I boysdid however watch this coverage, trying to understand what would bring these two men to this illogical conclusion. Especially when the trial, which ultimately concluded with two guilty verdicts against two teenage football players who raped a girl who was so drunk she couldn’t even move from the floor.

As a father, I had to process this and come up with a way teach my boys about this.

A weak man might ask the following questions:

This is the world I’ve got to prepare my son for?
This is what our young men are turning into?
Is that it  so hard to teach your child right from wrong these days?

Listen, real men know rape is wrong. We know that it’s a type of assault, one of the worst kinds done to both men and women. Let’s not sugarcoat it. Regardless its still against the rules our society has in place. In the Steubenville case, it happened because those boys’ parents failed to teach them and hold them accountable. Their little society didn’t hold them accountable because they were treated like heroes and stars, or even worse, like celebrities. At their age, they were “entitled”.

Boys (and girls), rape is wrong. Don’t do it. Ever. Not under any circumstances. The arguments that she had it coming, there was consent, she was drunk, etc doesn’t matter. It’s wrong from a moral and ethical standpoint.  But wait, it’s happening all over the country right? Lest we succumb to the hyper focus from modern media, remember, rape as an act has been occurring since time immemorial. Is that an excuse? Certainly not, and that’s why our society has passed laws against it. Do I, as a citizen of this country, a parent, a father condone this act? Hell no.

The difficulty fathers have now is finding a way to provide a way for our boys to turn into productive men in a society so steeped in rape culture.

It’s very difficult to teach our young men that rape is wrong when other girls will line up to blame, and even shame the victim? How do we teach our sons about respecting society’s rules when our own elected officials refuse to show that respect by exhibiting total ignorance? For me, its pretty simple. I am teaching my boys that they are accountable for their actions. Their decisions will determine their life. I will not be a helicopter parent, so they are already beginning to learn that what they do and say have consequences.

America, we don’t have a rape culture. Far from it. We’ve been taught for many years that rape is an assault to force or maintain control. If you want to see a rape culture, I would ask you to study central Africa where rape is a tactic of war.

Original caption states,

Original caption states, “Dem. Rep. Congo: Meeting for Rape Victims Rape victims who have been successfully reintegrated into their communities assemble in a “peace hut” near Walungu, South Kivu in DRC. USAID-supported health programs have assisted rape victims with counseling, training, employment, and safe living environments.” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Rape is used to subjugate, dominate, and control another person in the most vile way.

While young men can observe their mothers,  they learn from their fathers. They learn how to be strong, caring, respectful men by observing strong, caring, respectful men.

Real men will talk to their sons even about topics that are painful, embarrassing, and yes, even about what rape is.

Rape culture? No, we have a No Accountability culture. Our biggest issue is that we refuse to hold each other accountable for our actions, decisions, etc. Start doing that and showing what a true example of what right looks like, then, and perhaps only then, can we start to make a real change in culture. Given current events in politics, sports, etc, it’s pretty evident that no one is held liable for what they do but rather what/who they can blame it on.

I’m no longer scared for my sons and the world they’ll inherit one day. Because I’m doing my job as a father and a man to educate them on the rigors of life and providing them with the tools to survive. Because that’s what parents do, or should do. I’m not scared because I refuse to teach my boys that women are victims first. I will teach them that they are just as capable as they are at doing things. My boys will be taught to step in when life, limb, or eyesight is in danger.

My friends and family know that in the line of work I’m in I’ve tried to make our world a little bit better of a place for them when it’s their time to take it on.

While the world might struggle to change for the better, my boys will be ready for the challenge.